69: Are You Battling Hidden Burnout Without Realizing It?

[00:00:03] Welcome to this episode of the Work it, Live it, Own it podcast. This is the place to be if you are looking to create success without sacrificing your well-being. I'm SaCola Lehr, your work life harmony strategist. And today we are exposing a silent enemy. That's right. We are exposing a silent enemy that affects a lot of women and affecting more women than

[00:00:31] we realize, even men as well. And that is burnout. Now I did a recent episode about burnout, but I'm not talking about the crash and burn kind. I'm actually talking about the silent one that you know, the one that kind of creeps up on you before you even realize it. And then you wake up, for example, you know you went to sleep.

[00:01:01] But then you wake up feeling completely drained, like you got no sleep at all, like you have nothing left to give. And have you ever said these things? Have you ever caught yourself saying these things like, oh, I just need to push through one more week and then I'll rest? Or if I don't do it, then no one else will. And I should be grateful. I don't have the right to feel exhausted.

[00:01:30] Have you ever caught yourself saying those things? And if any of those things sound familiar, then you're not alone. And today we're going to be focusing on, again, not just the burnout. We're going to be talking about how to reverse it before it costs you your career, your relationships, and your health. And so we're going to break this episode down into three segments. We're going to be talking about the reality of hidden burnout.

[00:01:57] Then we're going to be talking about why self-care alone won't fix it. I know, stick with me here because I do talk about self-care. But why alone self-care won't fix the issue. And how to reverse the burnout and give you some real practical solutions to reversing that burnout. But starting off with our first one is the reality of hidden burnout.

[00:02:23] Now, burnout isn't just about working the long hours. It's about constantly giving away your energy to things that don't give anything back. So let's break this down with a real example or scenario for you. So imagine you wake up. You're already feeling exhausted. You check your phone. You see that you have 15 unread notifications or messages.

[00:02:51] One is from a client that says it's urgent, even though technically it's not your job to handle it. Another one could be from a friend who needs advice. You sigh. You get up out of bed. You make your coffee or your tea. And you start your day on autopilot. Even maybe not even remembering, hey, did I lock the front door? Did I turn the iron off? Did I leave something on the stove? Did I even close the garage door?

[00:03:19] And by noon, you've tackled 10 different things. And none of them feel fulfilling. You've answered emails. You've rescheduled appointments. You've posted on social media because you should. But deep down, you feel like you're pouring from an empty cup. So by the evening, you finally have a moment to yourself.

[00:03:42] And instead of relaxing, you scroll aimlessly on your phone and feeling guilty for not being more productive. And you tell yourself, tomorrow I'll get back on track. And that's great because you're not beating yourself up because you're looking forward to the next day. But deep down, you know you're running on fumes. Does any of this sound familiar? That is hidden burnout. It's not just exhaustion.

[00:04:12] It's a slow erosion of joy, motivation, and clarity. So talking about self-care, because you know I'm a big advocate of self-care. But why self-care alone doesn't fix this? Why just taking a break or going for a walk won't fix this? And let's get real for a second. You may have even experienced this. You may have thought this to yourself.

[00:04:42] You might just say, Sokola, if you tell me to just take a break or get a massage or go for a walk, or your friends might say that to you, you might feel like you want to scream, right? Well, that's because, here's the thing, burnout isn't just about working too much. It's about working in a way that drains your soul. Think about it.

[00:05:06] If you love what you do, but you're overbooked, you feel energized, but you feel stretched thin. Or if you hate what you do, even the small tasks feel exhausting. Here's a quick assessment to see where you stand. I want you to ask yourself three questions.

[00:05:34] If you had an entire free day where you would feel relief or anxiety about wasting time. Let me ask that again. If you had an entire free day, would you feel relief? Or would you be anxious about wasting time? Do you feel guilty when you're not productive?

[00:05:58] When was the last time you did something just for fun? Not for work, not for family, but for you. When was that last time that you did that? Now, most of us aren't just tired. We're mentally overloaded. And that's why traditional self-care does not work. And so if we don't change the root problem of overcommitment to the wrong things,

[00:06:27] then we're going to be stuck in that same loop. So now that moves us to the final piece on how to reverse burnout. And I want to give you some practical tips and solutions here. And when I'm sharing these with you guys, just understand that I am not perfect. I don't nail this all the time. But I notice when I don't implement these solutions, and I'm not talking about you have to implement all the solutions, but you try to implement some of them.

[00:06:57] I can reverse the hidden burnout. But when I ignore it and I just let things take its course, then I do head for burnout. So step one is to identify your energy leaks. So write down everything that you do in a day and label them. One, label them on one side, things that energize you. And then on the other side of the column, things that drain you.

[00:07:27] So for example, if you are a business owner and you're a coach, you're a life coach, you're a health and wellness coach, you're a business coach, whatever it is, you're coaching clients. You may put that in the energizing column. You may feel that answering endless quick questions from non-paying clients or people can be in the draining column. Working on creative projects could be energizing.

[00:07:53] Or saying yes to things that you really don't want to do could be in the draining column. But once you see a pattern, you can start making these changes and limiting the energy drainers that are doubling down on you or feel like they're beating you down. So then you can limit those things, but then you can amp up the things that actually fuel you and drive you and make you feel energized.

[00:08:21] The second thing is, is after you've made a column or two columns and you figure out what's energizing and what's draining, then I want you to start working on setting boundaries without feeling like a jerk. That's right. Setting boundaries without feeling like a jerk because you've heard me talk about in a previous episode about setting boundaries, whether it's on your nine to five, whether it's in your business or in your personal life.

[00:08:49] But you may say, I still feel like a jerk for setting boundaries. Here's the thing. I know it's easier said than done, right? But let's reframe the scenario and let's reframe our way of thinking. So I want you to imagine that you have a friend who is always giving, always available and always exhausted. Got that friend in mind, right? And you tell her, girl, you need to say no sometimes.

[00:09:16] Have you ever had that conversation with some of your friends before? I know I have. But here's the thing. Why is it so hard to say it to yourself? Well, because here's a simple way to set a boundary. The next time someone asks you for your time, instead of immediately making a response and saying yes, you can respond with a go-to statement.

[00:09:45] Let me check my schedule and get back to you. That way, that one sentence is going to give you space to think before committing and try this. I promise you it's going to be a game changer. So instead of responding immediately or on autopilot, you can say, let me check my schedule and get back to you. It could be something as simple as, hey, we're going to get together this weekend.

[00:10:14] Would you love to come over to my house? And you know that you've really had a hard day's work week, or you had a really hard day, you had a really hard work week. And you just imagine yourself saying, you know what? I really just want some me time. I just want to go home. I want to fix me something to eat. I want to get on the couch. I want to watch one of my favorite television shows and just relax, recoup.

[00:10:43] Over time, people may still buck up at you and be like, oh, but you still need to come. I really want you to be there. By you being honest with people over time, they won't rebut that. They won't give you a rebuttal. They won't insist that you come. They will appreciate your honesty. So you could start off by saying, let me check my schedule and get back to you. And if they still pursue it, you can just say, you know what?

[00:11:12] Thank you for the invitation. I really appreciate it, but I really need some me time. I have plans to go home and get on my couch and just relax because I need to rejuvenate myself. I need to recuperate. I really had a rough work week, and that's what I'm going to do. And after a while, they hear that from you. They hear that honesty, that transparency from you. When they invite you over the next time, if you say yes, they know that you're not lying.

[00:11:43] Just to be nice, okay? And you probably have had that same scenario where you've invited someone and they say, yes, I'm coming over. Sure. And then they don't show up. Or they say, yes, I promise I'm going to bring this. And you're relying on that person to bring this. And then they don't show up. So imagine how you feel on the receiving end of that. So you want to be honest and transparent. But use that statement, let me check my schedule and get back to you,

[00:12:13] is a game changer. Next is how to create a recovery plan in order to reverse burnout. So forget the bubble baths. I do love a good bubble bath. But let's talk about real recovery here. We can talk about this and break it down in three different ways. We could talk about creative recovery, sensory recovery, social recovery. And creative recovery could be painting, dancing.

[00:12:43] It could be anything that isn't tied to work. Even cooking. If you, I love to cook, but I tell people I love to cook. I just wish I had more time to cook. That could also go over into sensory recovery. I never forget listening to a commercial about the joy of cooking because it ignites and it fuels all your senses. And for those of us who are blessed and fortunate to have all five senses, cooking can do that in just one activity.

[00:13:11] But another way to do sensory recovery is by going outside, touching the grass, get some sun, feel the sun, the heat of the sun on you. Nature heals. So sensory recovery. That's why I do recommend going for a walk. Social recovery. Even for my introverts, if it means spending time alone to yourself to recharge yourself,

[00:13:40] allow yourself time to do that. If you are an extrovert or ambivert, you can spend time with people who lift you up and not drain you. Why do you subject yourself to constantly be around people who drain you? Make sure you schedule time for people who uplift you and energize you. So what doesn't work is scrolling for hours

[00:14:08] and calling that rest, especially before bedtime. Okay? So that is a creative step on how to reverse that burnout and by creating a recovery plan by using those three recovery pieces. Creative recovery, sensory recovery, and social recovery. Now, I'm going to close out this episode with challenges. You know, I love giving you guys homework. I am an educator at heart, guys.

[00:14:37] So I like giving you guys challenges and things that I want you to try and implement and take away from this episode. I want to leave you with this challenge. I want you to audit your energy. I want you to pay attention to what drains you and what restores you or what energizes you. Try that two column. List those things that you do in a day that drain you, that energize you. And say no once this week. Say no once this week. Even if it's a small thing, just try it.

[00:15:06] Just try it. See if you can say no or set a boundary without feeling like a jerk. And schedule some real recovery time. Do something that's actually going to refill your cup. DM me at Instagram at workitlivitownit and tell me which one of these hit home for you today. And if you love this episode, share it with a friend who needs to hear it. And so next time, we're going to be talking about why your business

[00:15:35] or your career is not your baby and why treating it like one might be holding you back. So you don't want to miss that next episode. Again, guys, DM me at Instagram at workitlivitownit and tell me which one of these challenges or pieces of today, whether it's the reality of hidden burnout or self-care alone won't fix it and how to reverse burnout

[00:16:05] and the real practical solutions to reverse burnout hit home for you today. And again, don't forget to download this episode and share it with your besties. All right, that's it, guys, for this episode. Take care and don't forget to work it, live it, own it in your everyday lives.