70: Your Career Isn't Your Baby - Stop Nurturing it Like One

[00:00:02] Have you ever caught yourself saying, I can't take a day off. Everything will fall apart without me or I'll have work piled up when I get back. Or maybe you feel guilty about stepping away from your business or your job because you think it means that you don't care enough and other people will view you the same way. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. But here's the truth.

[00:00:28] Your Career Isnt Your Baby and Treating It Like It Is One is the fast track to burnout. Welcome back to Work It, Live It, Own It, the podcast where we tackle real challenges of harmonizing career and life without sacrificing your sanity. I'm SaCola Lehr and today we're having a real talk about why your career is not your child and how to stop nurturing it like one.

[00:00:58] Whether you run a business, lead a team, or you're working a demanding job, today we're going to discuss how you can prioritize your career without letting it consume your entire life. We're talking about working to live, not living to work. So let's dive in. In today's discussion, we're going to break this down. We're going to talk about the problem when work becomes your identity.

[00:01:25] Then we're going to flip the script. We're going to do that mindset shift and we're going to talk about how you can shift from that proverbial saying of, I can't take time off to I deserve time off. And then, of course, going to walk away with some practical steps to stop over nurturing your career and your business.

[00:01:48] All right, so let's dive in. Now, for many of us, work has become our everything. You may hear yourself saying or you may hear some of your friends say, If I take a day off, my boss will think I'm not dedicated. If I don't answer emails immediately, I'll lose opportunities. No one can do this job as well as I can.

[00:02:12] And these thoughts don't just add stress. They make us feel trapped in our careers. The more we cling to our jobs and businesses like they're fragile babies, the more we convince ourselves that we are the only ones who can keep things running. But here's the reality. Your career needs you to function at your best. And that means you can't afford to be exhausted, overwhelmed or burnt out.

[00:02:41] Now, as promised, let's flip this script from I can't take time off to I deserve time off. And I hear this in my own household. And my husband will constantly say, I can't afford to take time off. He works a very demanding job. If he does take time off, the work is piled up.

[00:03:06] They set unrealistic expectations on his job as far as to turn around when work needs to be done. And if someone submits a thing or plan to be reviewed and they want to push it forward, they will call someone higher up and say, hey, what can you do? Can you push this forward? Even though their structure and system set in place, then that person will go in and go, oh, can y'all do this a favor? Can you do this person a favor? Can you bump this up a little bit?

[00:03:34] Which means everybody else who's followed procedure and protocol is getting bumped back because this person called in a favor. And so a job can be so demanding to the point where you actually feel like I can't take time off because if I do, things will fall apart. But we're going to address that big mindset trap because in reality,

[00:03:59] if you don't take time off, you, me, we will fall apart. So imagine this. You work a high pressure job. You run a business where you feel indispensable. You have a big project deadline coming up and you start feeling sick. Instead of resting, you push through, convincing yourself that you have to show up. But because you don't take care of yourself, your performance suffers.

[00:04:26] You're slower, less creative, and more prone to mistakes. You been there? Done that? So have I. Especially when I was a classroom teacher. Guys, I can't tell you countless of times where I have educational colleagues that will say, I can't afford to take off of work. I can't afford to even have a sub because I have to grade papers when I get back and there's mounds of work that I have to do to get back.

[00:04:54] Guys, yes, we're educators. Yes, we're professionals. Yes, we're business owners. But here's the reality. If we don't take ourselves away and take a step back, even if it's a mental health day, we will not perform at an optimal level. We will wear ourselves out. And who is there to pick up the pieces when we fall apart? Especially as women, we even find ourselves doing that in our households, right?

[00:05:23] If we get sick, who's going to clean the house? Who's going to wash the dishes? Who's going to make sure that the house is straight and clean? And I get annoyed even with that. I can't stand being sick because I know I'm not the kitchen or the house is not going to look the way it is if I'm up moving around. But I've had to learn, one, if I'm sick and I'm not doing well, then I will take a step back. I would even go to my boss and say, hey, on this day, I'm taking a mental health day.

[00:05:52] Or, hey, on this day, I'm going to be sick. And my boss was like, you're going to be sick. Yes, I'm going to be sick on this day because I feel myself about ready to hit a brick wall and I need to take a step back and I need to take some time off and take a day off for me. Because even as educator, when I was a classroom teacher, if I made a mistake, if my nerves were on high level or high alert

[00:06:19] and a child said something rude or disrespectful to me, and if I snapped back or I rebutted and that child went home, told their parent, then the parent was like, you shouldn't say that. You're a teacher. You should know better. No, I'm human first. We're human first. We're not machines. We're not perfect. We're not going to do everything the right way. So it is important for us to take a step back and say, hey, if I don't take time off, I will fall apart.

[00:06:50] So here's another way to look at it. Some people will say, hey, if you're a business owner, if I step away, I'll lose opportunities. But here's the flip side. If you never step away, you'll lose yourself. So successful professionals and business owners don't have to grind 24 seven. Setting boundaries, recharging to come back stronger, that's what makes us successful.

[00:07:20] Now, as promised, we're going to do some takeaways here. So here are some practical steps to stop over nurturing your work. Now that we've tackled some of the mindset shifts, let's talk about some strategy on how to start prioritizing yourself without feeling like you're letting your job or your business down. The first one is to set boundaries. Treat your time like a CEO would. So if you work a nine to five, stick to your work hours.

[00:07:50] Stop checking emails at 10 p.m. If you're a business owner, establish clear working hours and honor them. Respect yourself. Respect your work. Respect yourself. Block off personal time in your calendar, just like a business meeting. The second part is delegate and ask for help. You are not a one person show. You are not an island. If you run a business, automate, outsource, or train someone to handle tasks.

[00:08:20] Even if you feel like, I can't afford to do that right now, go to places like Fiverr or Upwork. Find something where it is in your budget to start delegating. If you are an employee, communicate with your team. Trust others to step up. Don't micromanage. If they make mistakes, people have to learn from their mistakes sometimes. Let go of the idea that only I can do this.

[00:08:48] Efficiency comes from trust. Let me say that again. Efficiency comes from trust. Next is schedule real rest and joy. Book a personal day before you feel burned out. Do some unrelated to work. Go outside, spend time with family, pick up a hobby. Me, I'm starting to get interested in embroidery again. I did it as a kid and I thought about it long and hard and I said, you know what?

[00:09:17] Let me do some needlework. Get back into that. Recognize that rest is a power move. It is not a weakness. And guys, I have to tell you, this time of the year, people are getting sick left and right. And I had to learn for years, my husband would literally take off of work and stay home with me because I was one of those people who would not stay in the bed and I would not rest when I was sick. And that had to do with something with the way I grew up. However, now when I don't feel well

[00:09:47] and I don't feel sick, when I don't feel my optimal level and I feel sick, I will take off of work. I will go home. I will stay in the bed. I will rest. I will sleep. And you know what? I feel so much better and my bounce back is quicker than if I keep pushing myself. So all right, guys, it is your turn. What's one step you can take this week to stop over-nurturing your career?

[00:10:15] Is it setting clear work hours, saying no to unnecessary things, taking a full lunch break instead of working through it, you know, eating at your desk? I want to hear about it. Send me a message or tag me on social media at workatlivitownit and Instagram. And if this episode today resonated with you, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share with another hard worker who needs this reminder. Remember,

[00:10:45] your career is an asset, not your identity. It should work for you and not the other way around. So until next time, keep working it, living it, and owning it. Remember, helping you build success without burnout is what this podcast is all about. Take care, guys. Until next time.