71: Could Lightening Your Mental Load be the Secret to Ending Overwhelm?

[00:00:03] Have you ever felt like your brain is like a web browser with 47 tabs open and somehow one of those tabs is playing music in the background and you have no idea where it's coming from? That's the invisible load, your mental to-do list that never shuts off. You know, from remembering deadlines at work to keeping up with life's endless decisions, like what's for dinner?

[00:00:30] Did I send that email? Did I RSVP for that thing next weekend? It's no wonder we feel exhausted before we even start our day and the worst part, no one really talks about it. But today we are. Hey there friends, welcome back to Work It, Live It, Own It, your go-to place for learning how to thrive in both life and career.

[00:00:53] I'm SaCola Lehr, your work-life harmony strategist, and today we're diving into something that's probably running your life without you even realizing it, and that is the invisible mental load.

[00:01:07] And so, if you've ever found yourself standing in the kitchen, like I have, staring at the fridge, too mentally drained to decide what to eat, this episode is for you because we're going to take a walk and talk about what is the invisible load, how it's secretly wearing us down, and most importantly, how to lighten it so you can actually breathe.

[00:01:34] So, some of the main points that we're going to talk about today is what exactly is the mental invisible load, how decision fatigue can creep in, and how we can actually lighten our mental load. So, let's start off with what is the invisible load.

[00:01:55] It's all the tiny, never-ending decisions and the reminders and mental juggling acts we do every single day. Think about it. If you're a teacher, you're not just teaching, you're planning lessons, you're getting, keeping up with emails, and sometimes that means getting up extra early in the morning before you take care of yourself and your family. To answer emails. I've had school counselors who've done this.

[00:02:24] Or remembering what students need extra help in and mentally preparing for that meeting with the principal. If you're a business owner or a career person, you're not just running a business, you're not just going to work, you're managing clients, you're keeping up with marketing, tracking finances. Oh, and yeah, sometimes we're trying to have a personal life too. And it's all unseen work that adds up.

[00:02:50] And it's because it's invisible and we don't always acknowledge how exhausting it really is. And this is how decision fatigue creeps in.

[00:03:01] What I mean by that is if you've ever catch yourself spending an hour just scrolling on a streaming platform only to give up and watch an episode that you've watched for a hundredth time, that's decision fatigue. And your brain only has so much energy from making choices.

[00:03:25] So the more you use up on small decisions to what to wear, what to eat, what tasks to tackle next, it's harder to get to make the big important choices and decisions in your life. And here are some signs that will help you to indicate whether you're suffering from decision fatigue. You're constantly second-guessing yourself.

[00:03:54] You procrastinate because even simple tasks feel overwhelming. You're irritable for no reason. Even the sound of someone chewing annoys you. Guys, I have. I have. I have. Done this. There are times where if someone's chewing popcorn or crunching on chips, that can irritate me.

[00:04:20] Or I find that if someone's scraping the fork on a plate, even me eating and I'm scraping my utensils on a plate, that can irritate me to no end. And you may also feel mentally foggy or scatterbrained. And when we're in that state, even the basic things like responding to a text or picking up a dinner option can feel daunting. It can feel overwhelming and impossible.

[00:04:49] But guys, that doesn't always have to be the case. We can lighten our mental load. And here's some good news. We don't have to live like that. So let's talk about some real strategies to free up some mental space, shall we? Step one. Let's talk about how we can automate the small stuff. Meal planning. Once a week. So you're not deciding dinner at 6 p.m. every night.

[00:05:17] We could look at setting up auto pay for bills. Use recurring reminders for things that we always typically forget, like changing air filters or booking dental appointments. My husband does this. He has a reminder on his phone when he has to give our pets medication every so often and when to change the air filters in the house.

[00:05:42] Step two, we can create a default system, even when it comes to our clothes and our meals. So in particularly with our clothes, have you ever noticed how Steve Jobs wore the same thing every day? He had a uniform. So having a work uniform or a few go-to outfits eliminates one daily decision. I know my brother, he gets his clothes out the night before.

[00:06:08] If you have an issue with getting up and working out, sometimes having your workout clothes from your shoes, socks, everything at the foot of your bed ready to go. So there are times I've noticed if I don't have my clothes out ready for work the next day, I'm spending time, needless time trying to figure out what I'm going to wear. And for us ladies, I have go-to outfits. You know those days when you're bloated?

[00:06:35] Those times where you're bloated or you are one dress size that you know you weren't the same dress size last week? I have dresses. I have go-to outfits. So it's a no-brainer for me to just pull this out and say, you know what? It is that time. And guess what? I'm just going to pull this out and I'm going to wear it. It's comfortable and it's cute. So meals. You can rotate three to five go-to breakfasts and lunches so you're not making those choices daily.

[00:07:03] That's something that I've recently incorporated. When I first got married, I was trying to ooh and ah and wow my husband with all these fantastic meals. And my husband kept saying, just keep it simple. Just keep it simple. You don't have to go overboard. But I was just trying to show off my culinary skills for my new husband at the time. And now I keep it simple. I'm like, hey, babe, what do you feel like? Do you feel like Italian this week or do you feel like taco week this week?

[00:07:31] Whatever it is, make it simple. Okay? Create a default system for yourself. Then batch your tasks. So instead of checking your email 10 times a day, block out two times to respond. So for me, I check my email at 9 a.m., 12 p.m., and 3 p.m. And that way, I have specific times where I am responding to emails.

[00:07:59] Another thing is you want to set aside time for content creation or errands that you have to run. And another thing is doing a weekly brain dump. That's where you're writing everything down that's whirling in your head. A lot of times what can keep us up and awake at night or disturb our restful sleep is because we have so much rolling around in our heads that we don't actually take time to actually take the stuff that's in our head and put it on paper.

[00:08:28] And I tell you, I feel so much better when I'm able to get thoughts out of my head and onto paper. The next one is share the mental load. If you live with a partner, family, or roommates, stop being the only one trying to keep track of things. Use a shared calendar or a list so responsibilities are visible to everyone and they're not just sitting in your head.

[00:08:53] If you have children and they are old enough to do chores, even if they're little ones, they're toddlers, okay, if you take out your toys and play them, let's look at your list. Did you put your toys away? That's something that you don't have to worry about doing. They have that list and you can just remind them, hey, what's on the list? Did you do your chores? Okay, this week, this person is vacuuming. This week, this person is doing laundry. You delegate. You share that mental load.

[00:09:21] And also for me and my husband, we have a shared calendar. So if we have appointments or events that's coming up, we have those things on a calendar. We check that calendar. We know, okay, and we approve that. We accept that on our calendar so we know what each other is doing. And even blocking off personal time for each other and for ourselves. Because ultimately, in the last step, you want to protect your energy. You want to have decision-free zones.

[00:09:50] You want to pick one day or time where you give yourself permission not to decide anything. Could that be on Sundays? Could that be on the evenings? It's your call. You do what you need to do where you have decision-free time for yourself. And you want to start your day with just three priorities. Not 10, not 20, but three. That way, you can end your day feeling accomplished instead of overwhelmed.

[00:10:20] And so just to give you personal insight on this, a while back, I found myself snapping at people over nothing. I wasn't mad. I call it being testy. That's a nice way of me saying I'm being, I feel irritated. I'm irritable. I was feeling testy. And it was just because I was so mentally drained from juggling my career, my life, and other responsibilities. I had zero patience left.

[00:10:49] And so the moment that changed everything for me was one night I sat down and I dumped everything from my brain onto paper. And suddenly it wasn't just floating around in my head anymore. And so from then on, I made a simple rule. I do three top priorities per day. And alone, that gave me so much relief.

[00:11:14] And then guys, the ultimate bottom line is it wasn't about doing less or being lazy. It was about stopping the mental clutter. And so I promise you guys, if you can do a brain dump and just focus on three priorities, I promise you it will work. So let's recap our conversation for today. The invisible load is real, guys, and it is exhausting.

[00:11:43] And decision fatigue can sneak up on you when you're constantly making choices. And you can lighten the load by automating, batching tasks, and sharing that mental weight with others in your life and in your home. And you can start small by eliminating one decision today. Maybe it's picking your outfit the night before or meal prepping on Sundays. Most importantly, give yourself grace.

[00:12:14] Again, you're not lazy and you're not failing. You're just carrying way more than you should have to. So if this episode hits home, send it to a friend who may feel overwhelmed and daunted by all the to-dos that they have to do because they probably need this too. And hey, I would love to hear your go-to strategies for managing mental overload.

[00:12:40] You can DM me on Instagram at workitliveitownit and let's chat. So make sure you subscribe to Work It, Live It, Own It if you haven't already done so so you never miss an episode that helps you reset, recharge, and take back your time. And until next time, keep working it, living it, and owning it in your everyday lives. Take care. So life will enjoy radio today as a you will be playing �deser! So life will end up being massively Gordon hat. And like now, I'llcho Será Brazilian, California or November of Pemso prior to this event before 10. So our However is on the way of 1969 to a월. The Vice toاضанти data- receive. So that was 19 hours later and we enjoy starting your-你的 data 확인. Now that we've come up on and will continue gonna happen. Woooo! Thank you.