62: The Surprising Way She Helps Business Owners Own the Spotlight with Linda Ugelow

[00:00:00] Welcome to Work it, Live it, Own it, where we're all about empowering business owners to take charge of both their personal and professional lives. I'm your hostess, SaCola Lehr.

[00:00:15] Have you ever held yourself back because you were afraid of being seen or speaking in front of others? Well, you're not alone. And today we're diving into the reasons behind this fear and how you as a business owner can overcome it.

[00:00:35] Linda Ugelow is a transformational speaking coach and the author of Delight in the Limelight, Overcome Your Fear of Being Seen and Realize Your Dreams. Now she takes delight in helping professionals find their voice. She's also been featured in Money Magazine, Thrive Global and Nylon.

[00:00:58] Now, Linda is on a mission to help her entrepreneurs to break free from their fear of public speaking and find joy and self-expression. So welcome, Linda. I'm happy to have you here today.

[00:01:12] I'm happy to be with you, SaCola.

[00:01:15] Great. Linda, let's just dive in because you and I have similar backgrounds in helping entrepreneurs being seen and stepping into the limelight or stepping into the spotlight. Can you tell and share with us what actually inspired you to focus on helping people overcome the fear of speaking and being seen?

[00:01:38] Well, unlike you, SaCola, I was not someone who was comfortable speaking all my life. In fact, it was just the opposite. I was very silent as a child. I, what I remember is my first speaking experience in grad school. I totally froze up and not a word came out. And I determined I would never speak in public again. And I didn't for the next 10 years.

[00:02:01] Until something came up until something came up in my life that invited me or nudged me or kicked me in the butt to do something in public that I was extremely uncomfortable for, but I got through it. So what that experience taught me was that I could white knuckle through the fear.

[00:02:22] And that even though I didn't like it, it was worthwhile because it made an impact. And I think that's where I was operating from when I started my online coaching business. And, you know, you make your website and then people got to know that you exist. So you put yourself out there. It was back in 2015. And I started to take some video classes. Terrifying, very awkward, very uncomfortable.

[00:02:50] At one point during my video course, the mentor, Holly Gillen was her name. She said, you know, guys, there's this brand new technology out there that's going to change the online space forever. And it's called Periscope, the first live stream. Do you remember Periscope?

[00:03:09] I do remember.

[00:03:09] So I thought, and she said, all the marketing gurus say you got to get on every day to build your following. And I thought, I'm late to the game, but I'm going to do this. I'm going to get on every day.

[00:03:19] I'm going to build my following. And it was absolutely terrifying. I was hyperventilating, felt like I was becoming disembodied. I felt like I was hovering over my body every time. And after the first week, I thought, I don't know if I can do this. So I looked up on Google how to get over your fear of speaking or get over your nerves. And I found all of these things, this advice, like feel the fear and do it anyway. Well, that's what I was doing, but I just didn't know how long I could keep it up.

[00:03:47] Another thing was, don't think of yourself, think of your audience, which I think is beautiful, but it's hard to do when you're having a panic attack.

[00:03:56] Number three is practice makes confidence or, you know, with experience, you'll gain confidence. So that was what I was relying on. I figured after a few weeks, I'll be okay. And in the meantime, I looked up what kind of management techniques there were.

[00:04:12] So I was doing power poses and deep breathing and meditation and holding crystals and affirmations, anything that to get me in the groove, you know, get my mindset in the right place. And it worked. I showed up every single day for weeks. And after 10 weeks, I'm about to press broadcast.

[00:04:35] And all of a sudden I noticed my heart is still racing. Like after 10 weeks of daily live streaming, I was not the cool, calm, collected, you know, broadcaster that I thought I would be.

[00:04:49] And I realized, you know, I am showing up, but how much longer do I want to spend like 45 minutes to an hour getting myself prepared just to do a five minute live stream?

[00:05:02] I didn't want to manage my fear. I wanted to get rid of it. So I decided to see what do I have in my toolbox to get rid of it? Because I actually have a master's degree in expressive arts therapy, a movement specialist, I have a background in psychology. I had a lot of tools. I just didn't realize, oh, maybe I could some tools on this experience that I'm having.

[00:05:27] So I made this very long list. I looked at this list and I thought, this looks very promising. Before I try to get rid of my fear, what is this fear about? So I closed my eyes and I asked if the fear could talk, what would it say? And what came back was, you're going to be attacked.

[00:05:46] And immediately I had memories of my sisters, my two sisters attacking me. Anytime my mom put me in the center of attention up on a pedestal saying, why can't you girls be more like Linda? If I asked her to do something, she does it right away. She doesn't talk back to me like you.

[00:06:04] Of course, of course, of course, of course, they were angry. Of course, they were jealous. They couldn't get mad at mom, so they got mad at me. And then it was like, duh, of course I'm not comfortable being the center of attention because I learned it was dangerous to be put in the center of attention.

[00:06:25] And that changed my world because I realized, wow, maybe this fear of speaking that I have, I didn't know about anyone else, but that I have has nothing to do with my audience on Periscope.

[00:06:39] Or I had been a performer with a women's world music group for several decades. I hated having to introduce a song, but no one ever said, you know, jumped out and said something mean to me. No, the audience was always very loving.

[00:06:54] Nobody ever said anything mean to me then. But when I look back at my childhood, I remember the times I was bullied or that my father let me know that he didn't have any interest in what I was interested in.

[00:07:08] Or mom saying why an A-minus and not an A-plus. Or any number of times that I felt diminished or put down or ridiculed or I saw other kids being laughed at. And I thought, oh my God, I don't want that to happen to me.

[00:07:27] If a kid went up to the front of the room to point out where Romania was on and she didn't know and the whole room burst out laughing, that's a public embarrassment.

[00:07:37] So that's when I realized, okay, I've got stuff to clean up here. I've got stuff. And I wonder what would happen if I did some of these tools that I know about EFT, emotional freedom technique, or some creative visualization with forgiveness or inner parenting, or I was a dance specialist, or if I kind of like danced out the angst or feelings that these memories bring.

[00:08:03] And you know up Sokola, after five days, that racing heart disappeared and it has never come back.

[00:08:11] It was like, all I needed to do was clean up the triggers, the triggers. These are traumas from the past that we may try to ignore or push through, but they still are there.

[00:08:27] When I managed my fear, I got myself to a place where I could ignore it, but the fear wasn't going away. It was waiting for me every single day to deal with until I got rid of it.

[00:08:39] You make so many valid points. And I have to tell you, that was one of the things I would coach women on was the fear of judgment and criticism, because that is one of the root underlining causes of the fear of being seen or the fear of even pressing record.

[00:08:59] And yes, my mother got me into public speaking at the age of 10. But I wanted to actually be a television news broadcaster. That was my goal. I went to college for it and was learning all different things.

[00:09:16] And I was comfortable working in the radio station. I was comfortable doing audio production.

[00:09:25] And one day, one of my classmates, who actually finally got a position as a television broadcaster recently, she would always be the one in front of the camera.

[00:09:37] And I would be the one, the camera woman behind the camera or in the sound booth. And she wasn't there that day.

[00:09:46] And so I went in and I was like, I'll do it. I'll do it. I was like, this is my time. This is my time.

[00:09:53] And I'm sitting behind the table and I look at all these bright lights.

[00:10:00] And they're very hot, by the way. So if you've been on television, you know that those studio lights and the television cameras are huge.

[00:10:09] They look like, I don't know, something from Star Wars that's walking towards you.

[00:10:16] And I felt the heat and I started to sweat.

[00:10:19] And my professor, who I later found out was a relative of mine, said, okay, all right, we're going to count down, have the clapboard ready and talk.

[00:10:31] And I said, well, what do you want me to say? He's like, just make up something.

[00:10:38] I couldn't. I didn't have anything.

[00:10:41] The first thing I was going to report on a cat being stuck in a tree and I was like, but what do I say?

[00:10:45] I don't know, fluffy cat stuck in a tree. And I couldn't do it.

[00:10:49] And I looked at him and I said, I can't. I'm blank. I don't have anything to say.

[00:10:55] And I felt so bad. And he was very encouraging.

[00:10:58] And he said, well, you know, it's good that you know now that you're not comfortable being in front of the camera because it would be better for you to know your fear now.

[00:11:09] And then instead of showing up for an interview and then they test you just like this.

[00:11:15] And I bombed and I just begged to please go back behind the camera or in the booth.

[00:11:22] And so around 2015, when you were taking your class, I was getting coaching done.

[00:11:28] And I said, I want to get over my fear, but I also want to help other people do that too.

[00:11:32] And that was one of the big things is the fear of judgment or the fear of criticism and the triggers that come along.

[00:11:40] And I had to work and overcome my fear.

[00:11:44] And yes, those negative past experiences that you mentioned, Linda, it can shape people's self-image.

[00:11:51] We can hide behind a website, the glossy veneer of everything.

[00:11:58] But when you have to face yourself in the mirror or through a camera lens, we feel that societal pressure for perfectionism or the past traumas that we might have experienced in our lives.

[00:12:13] So I want to thank you for sharing your story because a lot of people may come out and come across as like, oh, I have it all together.

[00:12:21] And I've got everything intact, but everyone has a story.

[00:12:26] Everyone has to break through something.

[00:12:28] So I want to thank you so much for being vulnerable enough to take the time to share with us your story.

[00:12:35] But now what has been some of the common mistakes that you feel that entrepreneurs make when they deal with their fear of public speaking or being visible?

[00:12:50] Well, I think the biggest problem is that they don't take it seriously.

[00:12:54] I mean, of course, they're aware that they have it, but they're trying to ignore it or push through it just like I did.

[00:13:01] And it's not their fault.

[00:13:03] They're just not, they don't know that there's another way.

[00:13:07] They don't know that it's not random or that some people just have it and some people don't.

[00:13:13] They don't realize that the programming that we grow up with from the experiences we had impact us and we carry those around and it can either boost or erode our confidence.

[00:13:25] I would even say, Sokola, you know, your story, which was, it was a surprise.

[00:13:31] I would say that was not your fault at all.

[00:13:34] It was their fault for not prepping you because you weren't afraid to get on.

[00:13:39] You just weren't prepared in what to say.

[00:13:42] And that became a traumatic experience because of that, because you were put in an experience where you were set up really not to succeed.

[00:13:58] And so it became that like, oh, oh, you know, then you, you ascribe the, the, what you did, like, I'm not good at this or I'm afraid of speaking.

[00:14:09] Actually, no, you just weren't prepared with what to say.

[00:14:11] They could have said, Hey, so you're going to do this today.

[00:14:15] This is how you organize your thoughts.

[00:14:17] This is what you start out with.

[00:14:19] And so a lot of times we're afraid because we don't know what to say.

[00:14:26] That is a different bucket than feeling afraid to be seen and that you're going to be judged and attacked.

[00:14:36] But it becomes, it can become that like your experience became one of those impacting past experiences.

[00:14:42] But in and of itself, you were gung ho.

[00:14:45] That's what it sounded like.

[00:14:46] You were ready to go, but you just didn't know what you didn't know.

[00:14:50] You didn't know that when they said go, that you were going to have to start with something.

[00:14:56] And nobody even said to you here, this is a great opening line.

[00:14:59] No one ever said that.

[00:15:01] So of course you weren't prepared.

[00:15:03] You didn't have the tools that you needed.

[00:15:06] So I'm sorry that happened to you.

[00:15:08] And I'm really glad that you got over it.

[00:15:10] So ignoring it is the biggest mistake or not, not taking it seriously that this is something that is pointing.

[00:15:18] It's not random.

[00:15:20] It's always connected to something.

[00:15:22] People think, oh, I'll just do some deep, like the things I did.

[00:15:26] I'll just do some deep breathing.

[00:15:27] I'll just do a power pose.

[00:15:28] I'll just try to think of my audience or that I'm being of service.

[00:15:32] Although it's not like any of these things are wrong or bad.

[00:15:35] They're all great things.

[00:15:37] The problem is that they just won't get you over the fear.

[00:15:41] If the fear is connected to the past, you got to deal with the past.

[00:15:46] Thank you.

[00:15:47] Thank you.

[00:15:49] Thank you.

[00:15:52] Guys, Linda's over here preaching, for real.

[00:15:54] Because I dislike, I don't, I rarely use the word hate.

[00:15:59] And if I use the word hate, I mean, I really mean it.

[00:16:02] But I dislike when people say, oh, the more you do it, the better you become.

[00:16:09] You just got to, you just got to get over that fear.

[00:16:11] You just got to, but no one explains to people how to stop trying to mask their fear.

[00:16:21] Rather address it head on and find out what the root cause is.

[00:16:26] Right.

[00:17:02] I mean, I'm just like sitting here.

[00:17:21] I feel like talking to you is one of the best things I get to do.

[00:17:25] Right.

[00:17:26] And that's what I want for people, for people to feel like speaking and communicating is one of the best things they get to do, whether they're speaking to one or a hundred or a thousand.

[00:17:37] Exactly.

[00:17:38] Exactly.

[00:17:39] Now, talking about these mistakes, do you think that over-preparing or focusing too much on performance instead of connection can also be one of the mistakes that entrepreneurs make?

[00:17:53] Absolutely.

[00:17:54] I think that when people are afraid, some people, I think people fall into different camps.

[00:18:00] Some people will veer towards over-preparing what they want to say because they don't know that there's anything else they can do.

[00:18:09] The only tool, it's like they have a hammer, they use it.

[00:18:12] So practicing over and over what they're going to say feels like the surest thing.

[00:18:18] Other people will do just the opposite.

[00:18:20] They won't prepare at all because even the thought of preparing brings up a lot of anxiety, so they go in and they just wing it.

[00:18:27] And that also may at times, depending on the situation, may work out.

[00:18:32] And then other times it can be pretty devastating and disastrous because if you're not prepared, even if you're going to improvise, you need to be prepared.

[00:18:45] Just because you're an improviser doesn't mean that you don't have a sense of what you're going to say.

[00:18:50] Like when you come on a podcast, we're not scripted, but do I have a sense of what I want to say?

[00:18:55] Yes. And I also leave room to discover new things because I don't want to be just like a robot.

[00:19:05] Then all I need to do is make one podcast and just broadcast that out.

[00:19:09] But no, I want the conversation to be a process of discovery.

[00:19:13] So I leave gaps open for myself to be spontaneous and maybe discover something new in myself.

[00:19:25] Push to think of something in a new way from.

[00:19:29] I think I find that when I'm a guest on someone else's podcast, I'm like you.

[00:19:35] I don't want to be so well scripted in my talking points.

[00:19:40] I may have an outline in my head.

[00:19:43] I may even have a little cheat sheet.

[00:19:45] I've seen people who have done TEDx talks.

[00:19:47] They have some note cards, but they they have that foundation there or they have that outline.

[00:19:52] But you leave yourself up to the naturalness, the openness of a conversation.

[00:19:57] You pave a way for vulnerability that that's what really, truly connects you with your audience or the listeners that are out there.

[00:20:06] And so if you too well scripted, yes, you can come across, like you said, a robot.

[00:20:12] And it doesn't sound as sincere or as natural.

[00:20:15] So, Linda, let me ask you this, though.

[00:20:18] What do you think are some of the practical steps that business owners can take to overcome their fear of being seen and heard, especially in what we call high pressure or high stakes situations?

[00:20:35] The time that you work on your fear of speaking is not during the high stakes situation.

[00:20:41] I mean, sometimes things can't be helped, but the time to get over it is ahead of time.

[00:20:47] Now, let me just briefly describe what that would look like.

[00:20:52] And then I'll also describe what it can look like if you don't have the time yet to do it.

[00:20:59] But so number one, so I have a framework that I work with, and that's also in my book, Delight in the Limelight.

[00:21:05] And I work through in my programs that number one is to reveal and heal.

[00:21:09] Reveal what are the root causes of your fear so that you can heal it.

[00:21:14] Because if you can't see it, it's much harder to heal it.

[00:21:17] So places to look are family relationships.

[00:21:20] Where were you in your family?

[00:21:22] Was it a big family?

[00:21:23] Was it?

[00:21:24] Were you an only child?

[00:21:26] Did someone take up all the air time?

[00:21:28] Were you respected?

[00:21:29] Were your thoughts encouraged and listened to?

[00:21:31] Or were you dismissed and told, don't talk back to your elders?

[00:21:36] Silence is golden.

[00:21:38] Children should be seen and not heard.

[00:21:40] Any of these other messages.

[00:21:41] So look at the messages.

[00:21:42] Look at the experiences you had.

[00:21:44] I mentioned a few of my jealousy from my sisters being bullied at school, having a teacher that didn't get you.

[00:21:50] A performance you had that didn't go well.

[00:21:53] Any of these things can, like your experience, Sokola,

[00:21:56] any of these things can impact us.

[00:21:59] And they tend to not stand in isolation, but they kind of build up to somewhat of a snowball.

[00:22:08] You know, their experiences glom on.

[00:22:10] That criticism kind of like sticks to it.

[00:22:12] And that other person's comment sticks to it.

[00:22:15] And suddenly you have this kind of blob in front of you that feels like fear.

[00:22:19] So you've got to reveal it in order to heal it.

[00:22:22] Healing is a matter of creating a new relationship to it so that it's no longer activated.

[00:22:30] So whether it is forgiving yourself or going back in your imagination and parenting yourself in a way that you didn't get at the time.

[00:22:41] You know, you didn't have that person saying, hey, this is what is really going on.

[00:22:45] And don't worry, this isn't about you.

[00:22:47] You are wonderful.

[00:22:48] You're fantastic.

[00:22:49] You know, like whatever it is that you needed someone to say to you at the time that you didn't get.

[00:22:54] You can do that through journaling.

[00:22:56] You can do it through poetry or songwriting or whatever your gig is.

[00:23:01] Or even talking with, you know, a good friend, a buddy about this or bring it to your therapist.

[00:23:08] So once you reveal, you need to heal it so it's not getting triggered anymore.

[00:23:15] Because here's the thing.

[00:23:16] If you want to be present with your audience, present means present.

[00:23:21] It means nothing from the past.

[00:23:23] So you need to remove those things that are pulling you from the past.

[00:23:28] Those are the triggers.

[00:23:30] Number two, you may be worried about what other people think, but you can be your worst, harshest critic.

[00:23:36] So you got to deal with the stuff that's going on in your head.

[00:23:40] And I don't mean just making it quiet.

[00:23:42] I mean, we believe that we can become better communicators with other people.

[00:23:46] We have to also believe we can become better communicators with ourself.

[00:23:50] We need to mature our self-dialogue so it's helpful rather than hurtful.

[00:23:58] I'm loving it.

[00:23:59] I'm loving it.

[00:24:00] I've never said that before.

[00:24:01] So this is kind of like testimony to want me to bring, you know, some space.

[00:24:07] Yes.

[00:24:07] And not always say the same things.

[00:24:09] Number three is once you've cleared the past experiences, once you have matured this inner dialogue,

[00:24:16] then you are free to repattern how you express yourself.

[00:24:21] Because when you've been afraid, that affects how you breathe.

[00:24:25] It affects how you, your posture.

[00:24:27] It affects the energy that you put out there and your voice and how you use your voice.

[00:24:33] So a lot of people who feel like they, people aren't interested in what they have to say,

[00:24:38] they might either speak very softly or they speak really fast because they don't want to take up people's time.

[00:24:46] So if that's something that becomes a habit, you need to swap that habit for a new habit.

[00:24:54] It's basically skill building and practice and creating new, just a new way of experiencing yourself on the inside as well as how you communicate.

[00:25:05] What I feel is especially powerful is connecting, guiding people to connect with the joy of the sound of their voice.

[00:25:16] Because when you love the actual production of your sound, when you feel connected with this throat chakra area,

[00:25:27] you allow every syllable to take up space and you're not rushing through your words,

[00:25:33] but you are feeling like embodied in every syllable and in all your expression.

[00:25:40] And you allow that to be, you know, your feelings to come out in what you have to say.

[00:25:46] Then it's a huge honor and opportunity every time we get to open our mouth,

[00:25:52] whether we're talking to our partners or our kids or friends or on the telephone or on stage.

[00:25:59] That we, it's an amazing honor to be given that space.

[00:26:04] I feel so honored in this moment to be given this space.

[00:26:09] So as an entrepreneur, I want you to connect with that feeling of, wow, it's my turn to speak.

[00:26:21] Love it.

[00:26:22] I think you and I are so aligned on this because I tell people a lot of times,

[00:26:29] I catch people, I catch myself first and foremost,

[00:26:32] but I also bring attention to people whether they are aware of it or not,

[00:26:37] even when we're just having conversations.

[00:26:41] What our thoughts may tell us, because a lot of times the way we think and where our brain patterns are

[00:26:47] is a way to try and safeguard us, to try and keep us safe.

[00:26:52] But a lot of times our brains will also trick us and deceive us into thinking so low of ourselves.

[00:26:59] And then we speak that out.

[00:27:01] And I would always tell someone, I said,

[00:27:03] I don't know if you just realize what you just said.

[00:27:07] I said, but your ears were the first ones to hear that sound come out from your throat.

[00:27:16] And I said, and then you fed it right back into your brain.

[00:27:20] And even when we are having a conversation with other people, like your past experiences

[00:27:26] and some of the experiences I've had to deal with in my youth,

[00:27:32] we have trained ourselves in this pattern of thinking,

[00:27:36] and we have to shift our way of thinking and catch ourselves in those moments

[00:27:41] when we're putting ourselves down, when we're talking negatively about ourselves,

[00:27:46] or because we have been in a household, maybe we grew up where children were seen and not heard,

[00:27:53] or you were told you didn't have an opinion to voice,

[00:27:56] that you do have an opinion.

[00:28:01] Everyone has an opinion to be voiced.

[00:28:04] And practicing, like you said, in those low-risk environments

[00:28:09] of just having dialogue with your family, your friends,

[00:28:13] showing up and being present in those moments,

[00:28:16] not worrying about, okay, I'm so socially awkward.

[00:28:20] I don't like small talk.

[00:28:24] But enjoying that moment, enjoying that conversation, enjoying that dialogue,

[00:28:29] but also having self-compassion, practicing self-compassion,

[00:28:34] another thing I would add to that too is what I used to teach my clients is breathing exercises.

[00:28:40] A lot of times, women particularly, they say,

[00:28:43] oh, I don't like the sound of my voice.

[00:28:44] Even my husband, if I have recorded him and I'll play it back,

[00:28:48] he was like, who's, that's me?

[00:28:50] You know, because we don't get to hear how we sound externally.

[00:28:55] We have that inner voice.

[00:28:56] And sometimes we have to change and work on our inner voice

[00:28:59] to enjoy when we do hear the feedback of our outer voice.

[00:29:05] But overall, what I really got from what you were saying with this is

[00:29:09] building a positive narrative for ourselves,

[00:29:13] but also enjoying being vulnerable with it in our self-expression,

[00:29:18] how we speak to ourselves and how we interact with others.

[00:29:22] And that kind of leads me to the next question about the joy of self-expression is in your book,

[00:29:29] Delight in the Limelight.

[00:29:31] Can you explain how entrepreneurs can move from fearing the spotlight to actually enjoying it?

[00:29:40] You know, I think that we, during our lifespan,

[00:29:45] we are looking to discover ourselves and how we know ourselves in part.

[00:29:55] There are many ways we can experience ourselves,

[00:29:57] but in part is how we express ourselves.

[00:30:00] But what happens is that because of our,

[00:30:04] what we, the mean, the rule,

[00:30:07] we create rules,

[00:30:09] like in addition to the rules that we think are around us of behavior,

[00:30:13] like how loud are we allowed to speak in a restaurant?

[00:30:17] What kind of movements are we allowed to make outside?

[00:30:21] Like, would you skip down the street?

[00:30:24] Can you jump up and down?

[00:30:26] Well, if you're a child, you can,

[00:30:28] but are you allowed to do it as adult?

[00:30:31] As an adult,

[00:30:32] would you allow yourself to do it as an adult?

[00:30:34] So it may be that there are some

[00:30:38] scriptures or rules about

[00:30:40] how wide or how much permission there is for us to express ourselves,

[00:30:45] but we create an even narrower menu of what's allowable a lot of times.

[00:30:50] So what I would say,

[00:30:52] especially as an entrepreneur and personal branding,

[00:30:55] you must go through some kind of process of

[00:31:00] expanding your self-expression to know like,

[00:31:03] what is your,

[00:31:04] like,

[00:31:04] how do you like to express yourself?

[00:31:07] How are people,

[00:31:09] like,

[00:31:09] I,

[00:31:10] there was a,

[00:31:10] maybe you've come across this too,

[00:31:12] Sekola,

[00:31:12] some years ago.

[00:31:13] It was recommended that I ask five or six people

[00:31:17] three words that they think of

[00:31:19] when they think of me,

[00:31:21] which is a great exercise.

[00:31:23] I talk about this in the book.

[00:31:25] I was at a writer's retreat

[00:31:28] for five days,

[00:31:29] and at the end,

[00:31:29] the teacher said,

[00:31:30] okay,

[00:31:30] I'm going to call out each person's name,

[00:31:32] and then everyone just popcorn,

[00:31:35] what you,

[00:31:36] you know,

[00:31:36] words that you think of them.

[00:31:38] So when it came to my name,

[00:31:40] people were saying soft,

[00:31:42] warm,

[00:31:43] generous,

[00:31:44] loving,

[00:31:44] all these beautiful,

[00:31:45] sweet words,

[00:31:47] which are as a coach,

[00:31:49] it's,

[00:31:49] there are things that I identify with

[00:31:51] because I want people to feel safe with me.

[00:31:54] But all of a sudden I had the word,

[00:31:56] please,

[00:31:57] please say bold.

[00:31:59] Someone say wacky.

[00:32:00] Someone say funny.

[00:32:01] Someone say,

[00:32:03] and then all of a sudden I went,

[00:32:05] holy moly.

[00:32:06] They're not going to say it

[00:32:07] because I don't express that.

[00:32:09] If I want them to see that part of me,

[00:32:12] I can't just do it with my daughter.

[00:32:15] I can't just do it with that one wacky friend I have.

[00:32:18] I have to expand that part of my self-expression.

[00:32:22] So I encourage everybody to find a way

[00:32:25] to explore more of themselves.

[00:32:29] So for instance,

[00:32:30] let's say you are rehearsing a script

[00:32:33] over and over and over.

[00:32:34] Don't just memorize it the same way

[00:32:36] or say it the same way.

[00:32:37] Do it once through saying,

[00:32:39] hello everybody,

[00:32:40] my name is Linda Ugalo.

[00:32:42] Or you can say,

[00:32:43] hello everyone,

[00:32:44] my name is Linda Ugalo.

[00:32:46] Or,

[00:32:50] or,

[00:32:51] hello everybody,

[00:32:52] my name is Linda Ugalo.

[00:32:55] So,

[00:32:57] this way,

[00:32:58] number one,

[00:32:59] it's much more fun

[00:33:00] if you have to memorize something.

[00:33:02] Number two,

[00:33:03] you expand your self-expression another way.

[00:33:05] So in my Comfey on Camera module

[00:33:08] in my Delight in the Limelight Accelerator,

[00:33:10] I have people play around

[00:33:13] with different dynamics.

[00:33:15] So let's say,

[00:33:15] I don't know,

[00:33:16] what's one,

[00:33:16] a sentence.

[00:33:17] I love to take up space.

[00:33:19] I love to take up space.

[00:33:20] I love to take up space.

[00:33:22] I love to take up space.

[00:33:25] I love to take up space.

[00:33:27] Now that's just one sentence.

[00:33:29] What is it?

[00:33:29] Five words or whatever.

[00:33:31] And,

[00:33:31] but there's so many different ways

[00:33:33] to say the same sentence.

[00:33:35] If you are rehearsing a talk

[00:33:38] and you're saying the same sentence

[00:33:40] the same way,

[00:33:41] every single time

[00:33:42] you are not expanding your self-expression.

[00:33:44] You have this opportunity

[00:33:46] to play

[00:33:47] and experiment

[00:33:48] with

[00:33:49] the emphasis on words,

[00:33:52] with the tonality

[00:33:53] just like I did with the characters before,

[00:33:55] which is so much fun.

[00:33:57] You can play with volume.

[00:33:59] You can play with energy like,

[00:34:01] my name is Linda Ugalo.

[00:34:03] You know,

[00:34:04] so a little bored.

[00:34:05] Or you can be a little panicked like,

[00:34:07] my name is Linda Ugalo.

[00:34:09] I mean,

[00:34:09] they're just,

[00:34:10] there's a gazillion ways.

[00:34:12] And if you've ever been in acting classes,

[00:34:14] you know,

[00:34:15] there are just so many ways to deliver

[00:34:17] our self-expression.

[00:34:19] So as an entrepreneur,

[00:34:20] someone who's developing,

[00:34:21] what is,

[00:34:22] or wondering,

[00:34:23] what is my voice?

[00:34:24] What am I like?

[00:34:25] How do I want to put myself out there?

[00:34:27] Don't limit yourself to how you have been.

[00:34:30] Allow yourself to grow into what you can be.

[00:34:34] I like that.

[00:34:35] I like that very much.

[00:34:36] And I,

[00:34:37] guys,

[00:34:37] she has me cracking up.

[00:34:38] I think this is the first time

[00:34:40] on my podcast

[00:34:41] I've laughed so hard

[00:34:43] because it's so true.

[00:34:44] There's so many different ways

[00:34:46] in the way we normally express ourselves

[00:34:48] in conversations.

[00:34:49] And I will always tell people,

[00:34:51] look,

[00:34:51] when you're on camera,

[00:34:52] sometimes you've got to jazz it up a little bit

[00:34:54] because it's not the same

[00:34:56] as when you're speaking in person.

[00:34:58] Because you may think,

[00:35:00] just like you and I are having a conversation right now,

[00:35:02] it's not going to have the same impact

[00:35:05] as it would

[00:35:06] if someone's watching this

[00:35:10] somewhere else,

[00:35:10] on their phone,

[00:35:12] on the television,

[00:35:13] whatever.

[00:35:14] You've got to jazz it up a little bit more.

[00:35:16] You got to be a little bit more insightful

[00:35:18] and more playful with it

[00:35:21] because then that's when your expression

[00:35:22] actually comes across.

[00:35:24] But I also like too,

[00:35:27] and I think this is what I'm getting from you

[00:35:30] because if we're just,

[00:35:32] not just focusing on the,

[00:35:34] getting over the fear of public speaking

[00:35:36] or being in the spotlight,

[00:35:38] but it's also a way to have fun

[00:35:40] and find joy

[00:35:43] in your entire life,

[00:35:46] not just in business.

[00:35:47] And I think that's when people are talking about,

[00:35:50] oh, I just love their energy.

[00:35:53] Right?

[00:35:53] You hear that term,

[00:35:54] I love your energy.

[00:35:55] And it's because you are self-expressive

[00:35:59] and you find joy in expressing

[00:36:02] or how you show up in a room like,

[00:36:05] oh, I don't know if I belong in this room.

[00:36:08] There's so many people

[00:36:09] who are doing so much better than me

[00:36:11] or wow,

[00:36:13] I am really excited

[00:36:14] to walk into this room

[00:36:16] and glean from other people.

[00:36:18] Even if I'm just what they call

[00:36:20] the proverbial fly on the wall,

[00:36:22] let me just sit here

[00:36:24] and enjoy this moment and glean.

[00:36:26] So it's a way for you to show up,

[00:36:29] whether it's at a networking event,

[00:36:30] public speaking,

[00:36:31] or family and friends,

[00:36:33] or how you interact with colleagues.

[00:36:36] It's again,

[00:36:37] that joy of self-expression to yourself

[00:36:40] as well as to others.

[00:36:42] I like that so much

[00:36:44] because then you're embracing disability overall

[00:36:46] and you have that freedom of personal growth.

[00:36:50] I like it.

[00:36:51] I like it.

[00:36:52] Thank you.

[00:36:54] So let's talk about

[00:36:56] some success stories

[00:36:59] or personal experience.

[00:37:00] I know you shared

[00:37:01] your personal experience.

[00:37:02] Is there any other success stories

[00:37:05] that you would like to share

[00:37:06] maybe from one of your clients

[00:37:08] who overcame their fear

[00:37:09] of being seen

[00:37:11] and realized their dreams?

[00:37:13] Yeah, I was just

[00:37:14] got an email

[00:37:15] this week from a client

[00:37:17] who I worked with last year

[00:37:21] and she is,

[00:37:22] talk about high stakes,

[00:37:24] she's speaking to

[00:37:24] like the head of the airline industry,

[00:37:28] all the heads of the airline industry,

[00:37:30] very high level

[00:37:32] and she's in a male-dominated field.

[00:37:36] She was going to be in a room

[00:37:38] where she would be one of

[00:37:39] under five women

[00:37:42] and dozens and dozens of men

[00:37:45] and she had to show up as a leader.

[00:37:49] Now, she was terrified.

[00:37:50] She felt,

[00:37:51] who am I?

[00:37:52] Just like all the things

[00:37:54] that you've said before,

[00:37:55] she would have heart palpitations,

[00:37:58] anxiety,

[00:38:00] losing sleep for days,

[00:38:01] headaches.

[00:38:02] She didn't think

[00:38:03] she could handle it

[00:38:05] and we went through this process.

[00:38:07] We went through

[00:38:07] the stuff from her childhood

[00:38:09] and growing up

[00:38:11] and things that she heard

[00:38:12] from colleagues

[00:38:12] in the workplace

[00:38:14] and we found ways

[00:38:16] to remove the triggers

[00:38:17] from it

[00:38:18] to like just neutralize them

[00:38:20] and find a better relationship

[00:38:22] to those experiences.

[00:38:25] We looked at

[00:38:26] what she was thinking

[00:38:26] to herself

[00:38:27] in her head

[00:38:28] because if,

[00:38:29] you know,

[00:38:30] if you don't feel safe

[00:38:31] in front of,

[00:38:32] in your head,

[00:38:32] you're not going to feel safe

[00:38:33] in front of other people.

[00:38:35] I helped her move out

[00:38:37] of vocal fry.

[00:38:38] Now, vocal fry

[00:38:38] is something that

[00:38:40] a lot of women

[00:38:41] fall into,

[00:38:42] a lot of men too.

[00:38:43] Vocal fry is this

[00:38:44] and the Kardashians

[00:38:46] made it very popular.

[00:38:47] It's when you have

[00:38:48] this rumbly voice

[00:38:50] and a lot of people

[00:38:51] fall into it

[00:38:52] because,

[00:38:53] number one,

[00:38:54] some women fall into it

[00:38:55] because they're trying

[00:38:56] to lower their voice

[00:38:57] to sound more authoritative

[00:38:58] and they don't know

[00:38:59] how to find

[00:39:00] the resonance

[00:39:00] down in physically

[00:39:01] or skillfully

[00:39:02] in the lower range

[00:39:03] of their voice.

[00:39:05] Some people do it

[00:39:06] because they hold

[00:39:07] back their breath

[00:39:08] and so at the end

[00:39:09] of their sentences,

[00:39:10] they fall into vocal fry

[00:39:12] down there

[00:39:13] and I used to do this too

[00:39:14] so I know,

[00:39:15] I know from my own experience.

[00:39:17] There may be other reasons too.

[00:39:19] Maybe they learned it

[00:39:20] from people around them

[00:39:20] just like a lot of young people

[00:39:22] are learning it

[00:39:22] from social media

[00:39:23] so they've taken it on

[00:39:25] as a style perhaps.

[00:39:26] But when you want

[00:39:29] to project,

[00:39:30] you cannot project

[00:39:31] from a place

[00:39:32] of vocal fry.

[00:39:33] When you want

[00:39:34] to feel like

[00:39:35] your voice

[00:39:35] is taking up space,

[00:39:37] you need to find

[00:39:39] the resonance

[00:39:39] in your voice.

[00:39:40] So we did a lot

[00:39:41] of work on her resonance.

[00:39:42] We lifted her

[00:39:44] out of her vocal fry

[00:39:45] and I gave her

[00:39:47] ways to prepare

[00:39:49] to ground herself,

[00:39:50] to feel like

[00:39:51] she's taking up

[00:39:52] more space

[00:39:54] to as soon as she

[00:39:55] puts her hand

[00:39:57] on the mic,

[00:39:57] she knows

[00:39:59] that the sound

[00:40:00] that comes out

[00:40:01] is a sound

[00:40:02] that she loves

[00:40:03] and she wants

[00:40:05] to be heard.

[00:40:06] And so anyway,

[00:40:08] we were in contact

[00:40:09] a couple of weeks ago.

[00:40:10] She said,

[00:40:11] I'm doing the same

[00:40:12] event this year.

[00:40:13] I said,

[00:40:14] how are you feeling?

[00:40:15] She said,

[00:40:15] well,

[00:40:15] I'm not afraid

[00:40:17] but I do want

[00:40:18] my voice

[00:40:19] to be stronger.

[00:40:19] And I said to her,

[00:40:21] number one,

[00:40:22] fantastic,

[00:40:23] you're not afraid.

[00:40:24] And see,

[00:40:25] it's kind of like

[00:40:26] this is how

[00:40:27] growth goes.

[00:40:28] Even though

[00:40:29] you're not afraid,

[00:40:30] there are still

[00:40:30] things you want

[00:40:31] to build,

[00:40:32] there's still ways

[00:40:33] that you want

[00:40:33] to grow.

[00:40:34] For her,

[00:40:35] she wanted to have

[00:40:36] a more powerful voice.

[00:40:37] So we got on

[00:40:38] for an extra,

[00:40:39] you know,

[00:40:40] follow-up session,

[00:40:41] guided her

[00:40:41] into finding

[00:40:42] a bigger voice,

[00:40:43] more commanding voice,

[00:40:47] gave her,

[00:40:47] you know,

[00:40:48] access to

[00:40:49] recordings

[00:40:49] so she could

[00:40:50] practice.

[00:40:51] And she writes

[00:40:51] to me just

[00:40:52] yesterday saying,

[00:40:54] she was one

[00:40:55] of two women,

[00:40:56] 70 men,

[00:40:58] everyone came up

[00:40:59] to her

[00:40:59] and shook her

[00:41:00] hand and said,

[00:41:01] thank you,

[00:41:02] that was fantastic,

[00:41:03] so informative,

[00:41:04] so glad you're

[00:41:05] doing this.

[00:41:06] And this is

[00:41:07] what can happen.

[00:41:08] And she said,

[00:41:09] thank you,

[00:41:09] Linda,

[00:41:09] I could never

[00:41:10] have done this

[00:41:10] without you.

[00:41:11] So it's kind

[00:41:12] of like we want

[00:41:13] to clear ourselves

[00:41:14] so we can be

[00:41:16] fully present

[00:41:17] and joyfully,

[00:41:20] as you say,

[00:41:21] in our speaking.

[00:41:22] And when we have that,

[00:41:24] then we can direct,

[00:41:25] well,

[00:41:25] what is it that I want

[00:41:26] to do with my life?

[00:41:27] How do I want

[00:41:28] to have this impact?

[00:41:31] And then we can put

[00:41:31] ourselves in those

[00:41:32] situations

[00:41:33] and take off.

[00:41:34] I mean,

[00:41:35] how I'm speaking

[00:41:36] right now,

[00:41:36] I could never

[00:41:37] have done this

[00:41:37] 15 years ago.

[00:41:40] Never,

[00:41:41] ever.

[00:41:41] I wouldn't,

[00:41:41] it wouldn't even

[00:41:42] be in my mind.

[00:41:43] The very first

[00:41:44] speaking course

[00:41:45] I was in,

[00:41:46] the teacher said,

[00:41:48] give me a list

[00:41:48] of all the places

[00:41:49] you would like

[00:41:50] to speak.

[00:41:50] People were saying

[00:41:51] TED Talks,

[00:41:52] this conference,

[00:41:53] that conference,

[00:41:55] corporations.

[00:41:55] What did I say?

[00:41:57] My local library?

[00:41:59] Oh.

[00:42:00] That's as far

[00:42:01] as I could imagine

[00:42:03] speaking in public.

[00:42:05] And look at you now.

[00:42:07] And look at me now.

[00:42:08] Yeah.

[00:42:09] And you know,

[00:42:10] like I've never

[00:42:11] spoken in a stadium,

[00:42:12] but I prepare myself

[00:42:13] to do that.

[00:42:16] I prepare on vision.

[00:42:19] Well,

[00:42:19] it's not even just

[00:42:20] dreaming,

[00:42:20] but I practice.

[00:42:22] I practice my presence

[00:42:23] in a stadium.

[00:42:24] When I see someone

[00:42:25] performing a stadium

[00:42:27] on YouTube,

[00:42:27] I imagine,

[00:42:28] what is it like

[00:42:29] to be there?

[00:42:30] And just kind of like

[00:42:31] feel in a very

[00:42:33] relaxed,

[00:42:34] easy way,

[00:42:34] like,

[00:42:35] also those people

[00:42:36] in that section,

[00:42:37] those are the people

[00:42:38] in that section.

[00:42:39] This is the big field

[00:42:40] or whatever.

[00:42:41] And just like

[00:42:42] relax into it

[00:42:44] because

[00:42:46] when we

[00:42:47] mentally rehearse

[00:42:48] how we want to feel

[00:42:49] and how we want to be,

[00:42:51] we're actually changing

[00:42:52] our neuropathways.

[00:42:53] So I did promise

[00:42:55] earlier,

[00:42:55] I said,

[00:42:57] I'll tell you

[00:42:57] what to do

[00:42:58] if you have the time,

[00:42:59] but if you don't have

[00:43:00] the time,

[00:43:01] mentally rehearse.

[00:43:03] Mentally imagine

[00:43:04] yourself being

[00:43:06] how you want to feel,

[00:43:07] whether it's chill

[00:43:08] or energized

[00:43:09] or passionate,

[00:43:11] motivational.

[00:43:12] Yes.

[00:43:13] Like,

[00:43:13] see yourself

[00:43:14] speaking just the way

[00:43:15] you want

[00:43:16] and do that every day.

[00:43:18] Even if you're speaking

[00:43:19] in four days from now,

[00:43:21] it will help you

[00:43:22] be that speaker

[00:43:24] you want to be.

[00:43:26] Exactly.

[00:43:27] How do you want

[00:43:28] to show up

[00:43:28] for yourself,

[00:43:30] for others?

[00:43:32] And when you show up,

[00:43:34] I think primarily

[00:43:35] when we show up

[00:43:36] for ourselves

[00:43:37] every day,

[00:43:40] it comes across

[00:43:41] to other people.

[00:43:43] So I think

[00:43:43] that visualization,

[00:43:44] that mentally

[00:43:45] preparing yourself

[00:43:46] every day.

[00:43:47] And I think

[00:43:48] a lot of people

[00:43:49] just don't do that

[00:43:49] and I think

[00:43:50] that's the difference

[00:43:51] between living,

[00:43:52] thriving,

[00:43:53] and surviving

[00:43:54] or in existing.

[00:43:56] Because people

[00:43:58] can just go through

[00:43:59] the routine,

[00:44:00] right?

[00:44:01] They're surviving.

[00:44:03] But to thrive,

[00:44:05] it takes extra.

[00:44:06] It takes,

[00:44:07] okay,

[00:44:08] this is a circumstance,

[00:44:09] this is what I'm dealing

[00:44:10] with right now.

[00:44:11] What can we do

[00:44:12] to make this better?

[00:44:13] What do I have control over?

[00:44:15] And the other part

[00:44:16] I don't have control over,

[00:44:17] I just let it go.

[00:44:18] And you realize

[00:44:19] that you've lifted

[00:44:20] all this weight

[00:44:21] off of your shoulders.

[00:44:22] And when you're

[00:44:23] mentally prepared,

[00:44:25] like you said,

[00:44:25] when you find the joy

[00:44:26] in self-expression,

[00:44:28] when you are showing up

[00:44:31] to share insight

[00:44:33] or to have

[00:44:34] like this interaction

[00:44:35] with other people,

[00:44:36] to feel that energetic

[00:44:37] pull from other people

[00:44:39] and feel that energy

[00:44:40] in the room,

[00:44:42] you will show up

[00:44:43] in a different way.

[00:44:44] So Linda,

[00:44:45] tell us a little bit

[00:44:46] about your book.

[00:44:48] We're going to delve

[00:44:48] in just a little bit

[00:44:49] about your book,

[00:44:50] Delight in the Limelight.

[00:44:51] What can readers

[00:44:53] expect to take away

[00:44:54] from it

[00:44:55] and how

[00:44:56] does it guide people

[00:44:57] in overcoming

[00:44:58] their fears?

[00:45:00] It does take you

[00:45:01] step by step

[00:45:02] through the

[00:45:03] three-part process

[00:45:04] that I call

[00:45:05] the Inner Freedom Framework,

[00:45:06] the Reveal and Heal.

[00:45:08] People will be guided

[00:45:09] to reflect

[00:45:10] on their own experiences

[00:45:12] with a lot of examples

[00:45:13] so that you can

[00:45:16] figure out,

[00:45:17] well,

[00:45:17] what is it

[00:45:17] that happened to me?

[00:45:18] Because some things

[00:45:19] may be obvious,

[00:45:20] but some things

[00:45:20] may not be obvious.

[00:45:22] In Chapter 5,

[00:45:23] I talk about

[00:45:24] all these healing modalities

[00:45:25] that you can use

[00:45:26] and I explain

[00:45:27] how to do them

[00:45:28] so you can do them

[00:45:29] on your own.

[00:45:30] I also,

[00:45:31] in the next part,

[00:45:32] we talk about

[00:45:33] the restoring safety

[00:45:36] inside ourselves.

[00:45:37] So we look about

[00:45:38] healing our self-image.

[00:45:39] So a lot of times

[00:45:40] it's not just what we say

[00:45:41] but how we look

[00:45:42] at ourselves

[00:45:43] and we all have,

[00:45:45] you know,

[00:45:45] from our society

[00:45:46] and from media,

[00:45:47] we have stuff

[00:45:49] about how we look

[00:45:50] and sound.

[00:45:51] So pathways

[00:45:53] to getting

[00:45:55] into a

[00:45:57] kind of

[00:45:58] more compassionate

[00:45:59] and more uplifting

[00:46:00] relationship

[00:46:00] with our self-image

[00:46:02] as well as

[00:46:03] the way we think

[00:46:04] in our heads.

[00:46:05] And then the Part 3,

[00:46:07] the repatterning

[00:46:08] in our habits,

[00:46:09] I talk about

[00:46:10] ways to reframe

[00:46:12] different aspects

[00:46:13] of public speaking

[00:46:14] like how to handle

[00:46:14] mistakes

[00:46:15] and what is that

[00:46:16] all about

[00:46:16] or this strange thing

[00:46:18] of wanting to be liked

[00:46:19] by everyone

[00:46:19] that we grow up with

[00:46:21] and all these

[00:46:22] different aspects

[00:46:22] of what somebody

[00:46:24] who's putting themselves

[00:46:25] out there

[00:46:26] may struggle with

[00:46:27] as well as

[00:46:28] what does confidence

[00:46:30] even look and feel

[00:46:31] like in ourselves?

[00:46:32] How do we break it down?

[00:46:33] What's the difference

[00:46:34] between relaxation

[00:46:35] and energy?

[00:46:37] Because we're not

[00:46:39] lying on the floor

[00:46:39] sleeping,

[00:46:40] you know,

[00:46:40] it's like we're not

[00:46:41] completely relaxed

[00:46:42] when we're speaking,

[00:46:43] we're energized.

[00:46:44] We have,

[00:46:45] you know,

[00:46:45] speaking is a

[00:46:46] physical activity.

[00:46:47] Get into

[00:46:48] the sounds we make,

[00:46:49] all the kinds of things

[00:46:50] that I shared with you,

[00:46:52] I describe

[00:46:53] and have a

[00:46:54] kind of like a guide

[00:46:55] on how to

[00:46:56] love the sound

[00:46:57] of your voice

[00:46:58] and then

[00:46:59] I finish up

[00:47:00] with how

[00:47:01] you can

[00:47:02] both make

[00:47:04] memorizing

[00:47:04] or improvising

[00:47:05] more fun

[00:47:06] and how to make it

[00:47:07] a peak experience.

[00:47:08] Like what are

[00:47:09] the mindsets,

[00:47:10] what are the elements

[00:47:11] that go into

[00:47:13] making,

[00:47:14] especially when

[00:47:15] you are on stage

[00:47:16] as a performer,

[00:47:17] as a speaker,

[00:47:18] or on

[00:47:20] live stream

[00:47:21] or someplace

[00:47:22] like we're doing now,

[00:47:24] how do you make it

[00:47:25] so it feels like,

[00:47:26] wow,

[00:47:27] this is,

[00:47:28] this really was energizing.

[00:47:30] This was a peak experience.

[00:47:32] So you can expect

[00:47:34] the

[00:47:37] ways that you can

[00:47:39] trigger

[00:47:40] that good kind

[00:47:41] of experience

[00:47:42] as opposed to

[00:47:43] the kind that we're

[00:47:44] trying to move away from.

[00:47:47] Yeah.

[00:47:48] So

[00:47:48] basically from

[00:47:50] dread to delight.

[00:47:52] Dread to delight.

[00:47:53] I love it.

[00:47:54] And therefore

[00:47:54] you will delight

[00:47:55] in the limelight,

[00:47:56] not just in your business

[00:47:57] but in your life

[00:47:59] as well.

[00:48:00] And just to wrap up

[00:48:02] some of the key points

[00:48:03] we've talked about today,

[00:48:04] understanding the fear

[00:48:05] of speaking,

[00:48:06] the common mistakes

[00:48:07] entrepreneurs make,

[00:48:09] and some practical steps

[00:48:10] to overcome fear

[00:48:12] and the joy

[00:48:13] of self-expression.

[00:48:15] If you've been

[00:48:16] holding back

[00:48:17] from sharing your ideas

[00:48:18] or stepping into

[00:48:20] the spotlight,

[00:48:21] now is the time

[00:48:21] to take the first step.

[00:48:23] And whether it's

[00:48:24] giving that presentation,

[00:48:25] launching your brand,

[00:48:27] or speaking up

[00:48:28] in a meeting,

[00:48:29] remember that

[00:48:30] your voice matters.

[00:48:32] Forget what anybody else

[00:48:33] told you in the past.

[00:48:34] Your voice

[00:48:35] does matter.

[00:48:37] So I do encourage you

[00:48:38] all

[00:48:38] to grab a copy

[00:48:40] of Linda's book,

[00:48:41] Delight in the Limelight,

[00:48:42] so you can dive deeper

[00:48:44] into her expert strategies

[00:48:46] and to start realizing

[00:48:47] your dreams,

[00:48:49] you'll find it packed

[00:48:50] with practical advice

[00:48:51] and inspiring stories

[00:48:52] that can help you

[00:48:53] embrace

[00:48:54] your

[00:48:55] unique

[00:48:56] voice.

[00:48:57] Because I mean,

[00:48:58] if you think about it,

[00:48:59] we like different artists,

[00:49:01] right?

[00:49:01] We like different singers.

[00:49:02] Why?

[00:49:03] Because they have

[00:49:04] a different style,

[00:49:05] a different technique,

[00:49:06] a different tone

[00:49:07] in their voice.

[00:49:09] stop trying to sound

[00:49:10] like everyone else.

[00:49:11] Just be you.

[00:49:12] And that's what's

[00:49:13] really going to make you

[00:49:15] embrace your unique voice.

[00:49:17] So Linda,

[00:49:17] before I let you go,

[00:49:20] first of all,

[00:49:21] I want to thank you

[00:49:21] so much for sharing

[00:49:23] your incredible wisdom

[00:49:24] and your guidance

[00:49:25] with us today.

[00:49:26] It's really,

[00:49:27] truly been a pleasure

[00:49:28] to have you on the show

[00:49:30] and thank you

[00:49:30] for giving me a laugh,

[00:49:31] a belly aching laugh

[00:49:32] this afternoon.

[00:49:34] Before you walk away,

[00:49:36] though,

[00:49:36] I want to ask you

[00:49:37] two rapid fire questions.

[00:49:38] Are you ready?

[00:49:41] Sure.

[00:49:42] Okay.

[00:49:45] What is one of your

[00:49:46] favorite books

[00:49:47] that you've read

[00:49:47] of all time?

[00:49:55] Okay.

[00:49:57] Rejection Proof

[00:49:58] by Jaya Jang.

[00:50:01] He takes a completely

[00:50:02] different approach

[00:50:03] to me

[00:50:04] to overcoming

[00:50:06] the fear of rejection,

[00:50:06] but it is hilarious.

[00:50:08] Laugh out loud.

[00:50:10] Read it to a friend

[00:50:10] or a partner

[00:50:11] as you go through it.

[00:50:14] Okay.

[00:50:14] I like that.

[00:50:15] I'll check that one out.

[00:50:16] And then,

[00:50:18] what could you,

[00:50:19] what advice would you give

[00:50:20] to your younger self?

[00:50:26] I would advise myself

[00:50:28] to not believe

[00:50:31] what other people tell me

[00:50:32] about what I should do

[00:50:35] or what is good,

[00:50:36] but to follow

[00:50:37] follow my,

[00:50:41] my gut,

[00:50:42] follow my joy.

[00:50:43] And especially,

[00:50:45] I just feel like

[00:50:46] there's so many times

[00:50:47] that I raised

[00:50:49] other people's opinions

[00:50:50] over my own

[00:50:51] and changed the course

[00:50:52] of my life

[00:50:52] or didn't do things

[00:50:53] because other people

[00:50:57] led me to believe

[00:50:58] that it wasn't

[00:50:58] a good thing to do

[00:51:00] in their,

[00:51:00] their view.

[00:51:01] So I would say,

[00:51:03] hey, Linda,

[00:51:05] just because they said that,

[00:51:06] don't believe it's true.

[00:51:11] Awesome.

[00:51:13] So to all

[00:51:14] our listeners out there,

[00:51:16] keep pushing

[00:51:18] past those fears

[00:51:19] because the world

[00:51:21] needs what you have

[00:51:22] to offer

[00:51:23] and they're waiting

[00:51:25] to hear what you

[00:51:26] have to say.

[00:51:28] So until next time,

[00:51:30] remember to work it,

[00:51:31] live it,

[00:51:32] own it

[00:51:33] in your

[00:51:34] everyday

[00:51:35] lives.

[00:51:36] lives.

[00:51:36] And if you know

[00:51:38] of another entrepreneur

[00:51:40] other than yourself

[00:51:41] who can really benefit

[00:51:43] from our conversation

[00:51:44] today,

[00:51:44] make sure you download it,

[00:51:46] make sure you copy

[00:51:47] that link

[00:51:48] and share it out

[00:51:49] to others

[00:51:49] so they can enjoy

[00:51:51] this conversation

[00:51:52] and glean from

[00:51:53] this information

[00:51:54] as well.

[00:51:55] All right, guys,

[00:51:56] until next time,

[00:51:57] take care.

[00:51:59] Thank you.